Your Biggest Legacy: Modeling Self-Trust for Your Kids
The way we choose to show up for our children today is a direct blueprint for how they will show up as adults tomorrow.
If we consistently violate their privacy, downplay their need for space, or negate their choices as children, we are teaching them a destructive lesson: Do not trust yourself. Over time, this foundational wound will cause them to betray their own needs and intuition repeatedly, until they can find peace with that core lesson.
The Full-Time Job of Being Present
Our children need us to be the best versions of ourselves we can be at all times. That commitment to being present and accountable becomes a full-time job, especially when our adult selves are struggling—perhaps on the receiving end of an unhappy marriage or the turmoil of divorce.
But here is the simple truth: It’s the job you signed up for when you decided to have children.
That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. We all have bad days—those moments are not only necessary, they are a matter of fact. In those rough moments, we will find all sorts of ways to sabotage our progress, our hard work, and our diligence. Whether it’s reaching for comfort food, using alcohol, or just letting a bad attitude pollute the household, we can derail our own lives quickly.
The Power of the Apology
The good news is we can find our way back to a healthy path just as easily. And that process starts with acknowledging and modeling repair.
When you’ve been short-tempered, withdrawn, or used an unhealthy coping mechanism, you have an incredible opportunity to model what maturity and self-trust truly look like. It starts with an apology—not only to your child(ren), but perhaps more importantly, to yourself.
If you take the time to really talk to your kids and explain, “I had a bad day, and everyone has those sometimes,” you are giving them permission to be imperfect. You are teaching them how to process failure without shame.
Breaking the Generational Cycle
Think about the profound impact of this simple act:
You relieve their future burden: By acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers, you instantly lessen the pressure on them to be perfect.
You fade the wounding message: You expose, layer by layer, the damaging programming you received as a kid, signaling that their worth is not tied to flawless execution.
You model forgiveness: You show them how to make mistakes, apologize, take accountability, and then forgive themselves—the most critical component of self-trust.
What if that simple act of honesty—saying “I messed up today”—helps them avoid decades of self-betrayal? What if that vulnerability is the catalyst that helps them trust their own voice?
The path back to a healthy mindset is always within reach. The greatest gift you can give your child is not a perfect life, but the courage to forgive their imperfect selves.