Welcome to The Bend

We're just over here getting our footing. New name, same focus.

By Marta Musolf & Katie Wadsworth

Bend:

To shape something straight into a curve or angle. To make curved; to flex, angle, hook or curl.

Life and choices are a Bend.

A decision to move in a different direction, to choose a “Bend” in a discussion or accept someone’s Bend as their take or vision on something.

We kicked off this Substack knowing what we wanted to talk about but not totally clear on the direction or theme. Then, like most “ah ha” moments, Marta was recounting an interaction with one of her divorce coaching clients (teaser of that below) and kept referring to a couple key words—“the bend”… I stopped her mid conversation to proclaim—THAT’S IT! Our focus here and in all we do is about “the Bend”. So folks, we promptly rebranded our two-post-old corner of Substack to officially launch “The Bend,” conversations about compromise.

Our “Bend” will always be towards a collaborative process and compromise. We believe that there is no one perfect way to settle anything; an argument, a theory, a choice…they all boil down to what works best for both (or all involved).

One of our divorce coaching clients was sharing her feelings about joint custody and ultimately that she didn’t want her SEP (soon to be ex partner) asking her for photos and updates of the kids when she has them. I acknowledged her feelings as valid and asked a simple follow up question–are you then ok with him feeling or doing the same? When he has the kids, it’s then only fair that you aren’t asking him for photos and updates? Long pause, big exhale. She realized that in fact she would be sad not to have the very thing she was resisting.

Now, that is a Bend.

As women, we have spent a lot of time finding a Bend that works for us. Whether it’s clothing, or your “tone of voice” or you’re “too much” or “not enough”, we are constantly pulled in opposing directions and asked to do acrobatics in order to be seen. Enough. Find your Bend and roll with it…until you need to find another one. Then roll with that.

This is how the last few years of our lives have been working on where we fit into the mediation space…bending and flexing until it feels right. So, we want to ask you to buckle up and roll with us. Take a chance that you might just find a new Bend on a topic or a Hot Take or maybe some Unsolicited Advice. *Hint: those are the three pillars of posts you’ll find here.

Now that that’s out of the way, we would like to officially welcome you to The Bend.